remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
