This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
