im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i now understand why vodka
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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