Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
