They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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