I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
