it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
