you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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