I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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