You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize