Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
