I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
