I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize