Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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