you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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