I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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