She said her name was "party"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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