I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
