I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
