the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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