we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we're making bets on your personal life
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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