Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
