I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
