if i died would you start the facebook group?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
