I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
