i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
