Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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