I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
