OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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