When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
