Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
