your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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