im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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