So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
