Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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