i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
