I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
