I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
