He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
