It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
