the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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