is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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