Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
