i would punch a child for taco bell
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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