no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Couch. On fire.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
