I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize