Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
