At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
