..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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