last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
