Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
