absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
