just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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