I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
operation have a gay friend backfired
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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