Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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