if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It's never too late to be topless.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is the high leading the old right now
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
