what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
