Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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