My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
