around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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