the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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