We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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