That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
