Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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