i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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