I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
