I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
