did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
