Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
