Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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