All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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