So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wear drunk well.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
