lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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