i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize