turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
