I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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