You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
