I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
