I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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